Made To Be Broken
by Kat Turner
Summary: This is Peter's Apollogia - despite the fact that FF.Net doesn't recognize Peter as a character. It's basically his life story


Made to be Broken Part1  
  
Peter Pettigrew was on his way to Hogwarts for his first year at the magic school. He sat in a compartment by himself. He hadn't met anyone yet, and he was scared to venture out into the corridor of the train. Being short and plain looking didn't give a kid the biggest ego and Peter was no exception. He kept imagining his years at Hogwarts- being teased, tormented and picked on. Not that he had ever had much contact with other children.  
  
Without warning two boys slid the door open and ran in, slamming it shut again and leaning on it while giggling together. They hadn't seemed to notice Peter who was sitting amongst his books with his pet rat. Peter looked them over, they were about his age; both boys had black hair and were lean and tall. One of them had glasses with soft blue eyes, and the other had eyes so brown they seemed black, neither were dressed in their robes yet but had opted for Muggle clothes instead.  
  
"That'll teach that slimy git, he's going to be in Slytherin house, that's for sure. Do you think Snape saw us?" one of the boys asked, breathing hard.  
  
"Nah, we were pretty quick, there's no way he could have seen us come in here," the other boy replied. Both boys did a little dance before somebody began bashing against the compartment door.  
  
"I saw you go in there! You'll pay for this, Potter! You too, Black! How dare you!" a voice snarled from outside the compartment.  
  
The two boys exchanged worried glances and looked around, finally spotting Peter staring at them with a look of complete amazement.  
  
"Hey, kid, cover for us!" the dark-eyed boy whispered, ducking under the seat, the other boy followed suit.  
  
Peter thought quickly and decided to go for it; he opened the door and adjusted the most dignified face he knew. The boy on the other side of the door looked very surprised to see him. Peter noticed that he had greasy- black hair and a long hooked nose.  
  
"I know two boys ran in here, I saw them and I'm going to tell the teachers when we get to school," he said in a high, shrilly voice.  
  
"What boys? I don't see any boys. Maybe you need to get your eyes checked - or perhaps you can't see from under that greasy mop you must call hair," Peter said, he felt stupid, since he was a bit shorter than this hooked- nosed boy and his threats sounded silly and childish.  
  
The boy swelled up in indignation and stormed off down the hall. Peter breathed out a sigh of relief; he wasn't usually brave like that. He closed the compartment door as the boys exited from their hiding places.  
  
"Wow, thanks kid! We owe you one," and without a backwards glance both boys ran out of the compartment.  
  
This left Peter feeling both very stupid, and very alone.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Peter entered the Great Hall with the other nervous first years. He was amazed at the high ceiling that looked like the night sky; there was nothing really magical about his own house. His parents weren't really good at magic and this new school seemed a hundred times more interesting than his dusty old tutor did. There were a lot of older kids in this school; they were all looking at the first years that were being shuffled to the front of the hall. Peter looked up to see a man with a white beard, he had funny looking glasses and he seemed quite old. There were a lot of other teachers there as well, the lady that was escorting them looked stern and had her hair pulled back in a tight bun. Peter wished he had two heads so that he could see everything he wanted to see, unfortunately he only had one, so before he was finished looking he had already reached the front.  
  
He had had to cross the lake in the boat with Hagrid (a giant of some kind who is a gamekeeper) and a couple of really dorky looking kids. The two boys from the compartment had gone across with a couple of girls; they looked like a lot more fun then the people that Peter was crossing with. The boys had actually pushed the girls off at one point, and then the girls pulled them into the water. This is not how he wanted to spend his year, stuck with boring kids and a gamekeeper, something had to change.  
  
The hat began his song, Peter didn't really understand a lot of what it was saying, there was something about it not being a pretty hat, well, that's for damn sure, he thought. Then there was something about Gryffindors and bravery; Slytherins and ambition; Ravenclaws being smart; Hufflepuffs doing something. he had heard most of this before, except the Hufflepuff thing, he didn't know what the hat was talking about.  
  
He stood slightly apart from the crowd as names were called and kids were sorted. First there was a boy named Ricky Abbot (Hufflepuff) then Sable Avery (Slytherin) followed by one of the boys from the compartment, the one with dark-brown eyes was getting sorted (Gryffindor). Oddly enough his name was Black. It was at this point that he began daydreaming. He no longer bothered to stay alert, and before long, he realized they had reached the "P" section. Reese Perks was a new Hufflepuff and finally the last before Peter was Sessio Patil (Ravenclaw). Now it was his turn, he didn't know which house he belonged in, but it was too late, the hat was on his head before he knew it.  
  
"Well, now, let's take a peek in here," a voice in his head said.  
  
"What are you doing?" Peter quivered.  
  
"Just looking around," the voice cooed.  
  
"So," Peter thought impatiently. "What house do you think I'd be in?"  
  
"Steady on, you wouldn't belong in Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff. Gryffindor is a possibility, yet I would most likely put you in Slytherin."  
  
Peter thought back to Snape on the train, and the two boys that had come into his compartment. He didn't want to go where Snape was. He could be brave in Gryffindor. It wasn't so hard.  
  
"Gryffindor!" Peter thought firmly.  
  
"Are you sure?" the hat asked.  
  
"Yes," Peter replied.  
  
The hat seemed to think for a very long time. "Very well then, you shall be in GRYFFINDOR!" the hat shouted the last word and was quickly removed from his head. Peter thought it must have taken an exceptional amount of time considering the other students were looking quite bored.  
  
There was a loud applause from one of the tables and Peter went there, because that had been where Sirius had gone. He sat down and some older people were patting him on the back and congratulating him.  
  
Iris Plum was a Ravenclaw and Peter's mind would have gone into a kind of loll but his interests were sparked right away, because the blue-eyed kid from the train was getting sorted. James Potter became another Gryffindor, and Severus Snape, the greasy-haired boy from the train became a Slytherin as well, while the last people were Narcissa and Armenia Zabini. Amernia became a Hufflepuff, while Narcissa became a Slytherin.  
  
"Hey there," a girl said, flashing him with a bright smile. Her hair and clothes were slightly damp.  
  
"He- hey, how are you?" he asked in return. Great, smooth Peter, "how are you?" couldn't you come up with anything better then that?  
  
"Fine, I knew I'd be in this house, did you?" the girl asked. Peter couldn't help notice that she had pretty red hair, but her face wasn't freckly and she had bright green eyes.  
  
"Uh, yeah, I did. my parents never really told me about the houses, though," he lied.  
  
"Oh, are you Muggle-Born?" she asked, seemingly delighted.  
  
"No, my family are all wizards, but I guess they just never talked that much about Hogwarts," he replied.  
  
She looked only slightly disappointed but perked up anyway, "I'm Muggle- born, and my older sister Petunia was all against me coming but my parents were very supportive. I've always wanted to do magic!" she replied, looking slightly wistful.  
  
What is wrong with this girl? She's way too perky . Peter just assumed it must be the excitement from coming to school, but before he could come up with anything else to say, the feast had started and he'd missed the opening speech. Damn it, he thought. First day of school and he couldn't focus, suddenly James spoke up.  
  
"Hey, your name's Peter, isn't it?" he asked, and at the question his friend Sirius looked up from his meal. They were both sitting across from him.  
  
"Yeah, we saw you get sorted, sorry 'bout before, we were a little excited," Sirius said, dropping his fork and offering his hand across the table at Peter.  
  
"Just a bit excited," James smiled, also offering his hand.  
  
"See you've met Lily," Sirius said, a bit of chicken hanging out of his mouth.  
  
Lily laughed. "Yes, Sirius and James were on the boat with Susie and me," Lily explained to Peter.  
  
"Yeah, that was fun, but we don't get to do it next year," James replied.  
  
"And I had so looked forward to sabotaging the boats," Sirius said wistfully.  
  
"Isn't it bad enough that you pushed us in this year?" another girl asked.  
  
"Oh, Peter, this is my friend Susie, Susie Murphy," Lily said, leaning back so that Peter could see the girl.  
  
"Hi there," Peter replied with a small wave.  
  
Apart from the people Peter had just met there were only three other first years at the Gryffindor table, two boys and another girl. The boys looked very quiet and quite sullen; the girl was sitting beside Sirius and having a conversation with Susie.  
  
"Peter, this is Arabella Figg, Arabella- this is Peter," Susie said quickly, not looking at Peter.  
  
"Hey Peter," Arabella said, she seemed a lot nicer then Susie.  
  
OK, roll call, Peter thought to himself, he needed some way to remember all their names. Directly opposite him was James, to the right of James was Sirius, and to the right of Sirius was Arabella. Now, to the right of Peter was Lily and then on her right was Suzie. On Peter's left was a boy with light-brown hair and to the left of James was a boy with sandy-blond hair. Peter was in a friendlier mood now that most of his new housemates seemed happy to meet him.  
  
"Hey," he said to the boy sitting on his left.  
  
"Hey," the boy replied, blushing furiously at being addressed.  
  
Great, now what was he going to say? Definitely not 'how are you' again, that would sound stupid! "Can you please pass the ketchup?" Peter was almost as devastated as the boy was. That was even stupider! Idiot! Peter thought to himself.  
  
The boy gave Peter the ketchup and Peter decided he owed it to the boy to try again, "My name's Peter, Peter Pettigrew, what's yours?" slightly better, Peter thought to himself.  
  
"Remus Lupin, nice to meet you," the boy said; a smile lighting up his face slightly.  
  
"Where do you come from?" Peter asked, slightly curious since he'd never heard that name before.  
  
"Well, I'm from around here, but I lived in Transylvania before," Remus said, his eyes widening and looking excited.  
  
"Really, did you see vampires and werewolves?" Peter asked, just as excited.  
  
Peter didn't understand what he had said wrong, but suddenly Remus seemed even more withdrawn then he had been before. "No, not really," he replied.  
  
James seemed to sense the boys' reluctance and decided to join in, "Hey, that's really cool, it must have been fun living there! I have a cousin that lives in Transylvania."  
  
Remus began to beam again and it wasn't long before he was full of conversation. Sirius, Peter and James kept him talking, but it wasn't long before they had to find away to shut him up. He was eager to tell all that his older brother Romulus went to Hogwarts as well, but was a Ravenclaw.  
  
When Remus finally stopped to draw a breath, James turned to the sandy- haired boy, and asked what his name was, "Hey, I'm James, what's yours?"  
  
"Mundungus Fletcher," the boy hissed, he didn't raise his head and he seemed very sullen.  
  
"That's a funny name," James replied, while trying to eat.  
  
"Yeah, you don't have to rub it in," it seemed to Peter that the boy was quite sulky, and he wandered if he should have been in a different house.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that," James replied, slightly taken back.  
  
"I don't suppose you did," he replied in an off-handed manner.  
  
"Why don't we call you Fletch instead?" Sirius suggested, to the nodding off all those around him.  
  
"Do I look like a dog to you?" the boy asked. Peter thought this kid was a very rude sort.  
  
Another boy from down the table spoke up, "You should all try to get along, you'll be spending a lot of time together."  
  
Fletch looked reproachfully at the older boy and went back to eating. What could Peter say? It didn't seem like anything would drag this boy out of his mopey self. Honestly, Peter thought to himself, who comes to school wanting to make enemies?  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The next morning was quite, interesting, for lack of a better word. It was his first day of classes and he had potions with the Slytherins to start off the day. He heard a rumour that Gryffindors and Slytherins were always given potions together on purpose, but he didn't care. For some reason he felt like he was on top of the world while he had breakfast with the other Gryffindors. Everybody was really friendly to him, except for Susie and Fletch, who didn't really talk to him. He thought it was funny that people kept asking 'Fletch' to pass things, when it was Sirius who had unofficially given him the nickname. Fletch really hated it, which probably added to the appeal of the nickname. Lily was overly nice as usual, James and Sirius mostly stuck to themselves but would talk to Peter and sometimes include him, but Remus wouldn't shut up. Peter actually really liked Remus, and was glad that Remus had finally opened up, he just wished there was an "off" button every now and again.  
  
It wasn't long before they were heading for their first class of the day, Peter's timetable said, "Potions - Professor Wilser," and thought that sounded like a fun topic. He entered the class and sat with Remus. He noticed that the Slytherins sat on one side, and the Gryffindors sat on the other.  
  
A tall man, who could only be Professor Wilser, wandered into the room. He stood in front of the class and gave each student a look-over. Finally he spoke up to class with a very commanding tone, it didn't sound like a cruel one to Peter, but definitely one to be afraid of.  
  
"I see that this year we have our usual assortment of new students. Welcome to Potions, I will give you all a chance to prove yourselves in this class. I am fair to all students and all are equal to me. Potions is a difficult subject and I expect a varied rang or abilities, however, feel free to prove me wrong," he said in a dry, bored tone.  
  
Before Peter knew what was happening, he was being ordered to take notes on some kind of roots or maybe it was a powder. he didn't know, and was totally lost. What was the professor talking about? Oh, God, he hoped he wasn't asked anything. Maybe if he sank in his chair, real low, he wouldn't be noticed. Everything was all fuzzy in Peter's brain and by the time the lesson was in full swing, Peter felt like he was way out of his depth and could hear a low humming in his head. Suddenly a voice rang out in the class,  
  
"Mr. (The Professor had to consult a list on his desk) Pettigrew, are you paying attention?" he asked.  
  
Peter realised he had been staring into space at nothing, in an attempt to understand the Professor's lecture.  
  
"He hasn't paid attention all class, Professor," a slimy voice rang throughout the room.  
  
Peter saw that it was Snape's voice coming from the front of the class, "that's not true, Professor," James piped up, jumping to defend his housemate.  
  
"And I suppose both of you took careful notice of Mr. Pettigrew and the amount of attention he was paying in my class?" Professor Wilser questioned.  
  
James looked obstinate and didn't reply. "I didn't think so," the Professor answered his own question. "Please, try to remain focused Mr. Pettigrew or you will lose track in this course."  
  
The Professor stalked off, Peter could just see that Snape would idolize Wilser one day. He looked at James and whispered a small, "thank you." At least he didn't take points off, Peter thought. On another note, I've started off behind, I don't think I'll ever catch up.  
  
It wasn't until after class that things turned bad, Peter was in a lousy mood and Remus looked sympathetic. James and Sirius were talking behind them when Snape caught up.  
  
"Well, Potter, that was an interesting lesson," he sneered. "You'll see; things here won't be going all your way."  
  
"You had better just back off you slimy git," Sirius interrupted. "If you know what's good for you."  
  
"It's Black, come to save the day, finally decided to stop quivering under chairs, have you?" Snape asked.  
  
Sirius pulled out his wand, but Snape was just a bit too quick for him. Peter saw this and, without thinking, stood in front of Sirius, just as Snape shouted, "Emeritus!" Peter and Sirius were thrown back against the wall and Peter began to grow hair out of his ears. Sirius was trying to curse Snape from under Peter when Wilser arrived.  
  
'What's going on here?" he asked.  
  
"Black attacked me," Snape replied.  
  
"So you attacked Pettigrew?" Wilser asked, very sceptical.  
  
"Well, it accidentally hit Pettigrew." he replied.  
  
"No excuses, Mister Black, Mister Snape, you shall both serve detention, now take Mister Pettigrew to the hospital wing and then get to your next class."  
  
At least Professor Wilser is somewhat fair, Peter thought while Sirius and James walked him to the Infirmary. There were two ladies there, one was a Nurse Malmsbury and the other was Madam Pomfrey, maybe it was Peter's imagination but they seemed to have a difficult working relationship. Sirius and James didn't stick around long because they were already late for classes, but they thanked Peter before they left. They seemed to have a higher opinion of him because of it, and Peter felt good, being brave, he could get used to it.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A new game had started at school. The idea of it was to touch the base of the new Whomping Willow tree without being hit by its branches. Peter had noticed that the Willow was very much like a normal tree, until somebody got too close to its trunk. If that person or creature wasn't quick enough than it would get a big smack across the face. The Whomping Willow was very much on everybody's mind since it was new this year and there was no apparent reason for its arrival.  
  
Peter didn't really like this new game, it seemed quite stupid to him, but if everyone else was going to do it, he might as well, too. There was a girl trying her best not to be bombarded, and Peter moved farther away from the tree. He figured if he had a running start then he'd be quicker in and out of the tree's projectile. So he waited a moment for the girl to finish her turn, then he bolted. He didn't know if he'd be fast enough, and he kept thinking that one of the enormous branches would be swinging out at him soon, but instead he knocked into an older boy. The older boy had clearly had no intention of playing the game. He had, however, been standing near to the tree to get a good look at the girl who was taking her turn. The other boy lost his balance and fell over, into the trees firing range. Peter watched in horror as the boy narrowly escaped three big branches as they crashed down towards him. The boy moved like a cat and skilfully avoided being hit in his escape.  
  
Peter breathed a sigh of relief, until he realized what he had done. The other boy was a fifth year Slytherin, a prefect and a reputation as someone not to upset. He smoothed his silver-blond hair and fixed his cold-grey eyes on Peter. It seemed everybody in the grounds held their breath for a moment.  
  
"He didn't mean it, sir!" Remus heaved as he finally caught up to Peter.  
  
"What is your name, boy?" the prefect asked.  
  
"Peter P-Pettigrew," Peter replied.  
  
"I see." the boy said, before stalking away. The tension amongst the students lessened slightly.  
  
Peter was understandably confused, "I thought he was going to kill me!"  
  
"So did I!" Remus replied.  
  
"That's Lucius Malfoy," James piped in as he and Sirius approached.  
  
"Yeah, don't go getting him annoyed, he's not exactly the forgiving type," Sirius added.  
  
Peter saw the Malfoy boy talking to one of his friends and looking at Peter.  
  
"How do you know him?" Peter asked.  
  
"Our families have known each other for years. My Pop gets along with his father, they have their - err, differences, though. My mom on the other hand, is practically a sister with his mother. They chat and knit and compare cooking recipes. He has a couple of cousins in school as well one of 'em is in our year.  
  
"A cousin?" Remus asked.  
  
"Marcus Malfoy, he's quiet, not a bad chap," Sirius replied.  
  
James and Sirius knew a lot of kids in the younger years at Hogwarts. A lot of the Pure-blooded children had gone to the same prep-school, especially the wealthy ones. Few, like Peter and Remus had been home tutored. And the poor Muggle-born children didn't really know anybody.  
  
"Well, I hope Lucius doesn't cause too much trouble for me," Peter said.  
  
"It's almost time for Potions, Wilser is teaching us Harman Sleeping Draughts," Remus interrupted.  
  
"They can knock-out anything instantly!" Sirius replied, being the Potions nerd that he was.  
  
"I'm going to steal some of mine and keep it for a special occasion," James said, dreamily looking at Snape.  
  
"Sounds like a plan," Sirius replied gleefully.  
  
After that, the Gryffindors had Defence Against the Dark Arts with Professor Jenkins, they were caught by Pringle, (writing on the wall) and had Kettleburn for Care of Magical Creatures.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
That night, Peter wrote in his diary for the month:  
  
Number of points lost for Gryffindor: 30 Number of pranks played on Snape: 8 Number of hours spent in detention: 5 Number of creampuffs stolen from the kitchen: 33 Number of times Sirius has force-fed me his latest experimental potion: 15 Number of Visits to Madam Pomfrey: 16  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


End file.
